Happiness in slavery

A strong work ethic can mean the difference between success and failure, mediocrity and brilliance, and a hundred other similar comparisons we could make along this vein. It is interesting then that we have to remind ourselves that before we can even begin to acknowledge success we must first appreciate whether or not we have satisfied our personal intentions. Dot dot dot.

All things considered, it becomes more and more difficult to hide the fact that we may possibly never satisfy ourselves. Therefore we subsist off of nearness. Off of the appearance of completion. As long as our peers are satisfied then the job is done. As long as we have convinced ourselves that in the time given we did our best or under the constraints of the moment we produced the finest work we could, then we can be happy.

We become happier and redundantly happier as we make other people happier and happier through our work. Sometimes that appreciation is seen in a tradable form, and sometimes it is admiration or respect in absence of something you could spend.

All of these emotional aspects of our existence lead us to be happy or at the very least content enough not to just ball-up and die. In whatever state each one of us exists within, it holds true that our output is what keeps us moving. Without that we can no longer function as 'happy slaves' in our societal system.

Everyday is a new chance to prove ourselves and therefore we continue to do much of the same from day to day. It feels like progress to some while others languish in their lives. The worse fate is to degrade in knowledge owing to utterly mindless tasks you may have to fulfill day in and out to make a living.

As a creative person you need to make sure that what you've done is seen. You may not think it much sometimes, the fruits of your labour that is. You may find yourself flabbergasted that others may find said fruit 'awesome' or 'great' or sometimes even 'wow, that's really good!' For honestly you know you can do better. You know that you rushed some parts. You know that it was too easy to be good, and next time you'll make it way better.

Recognizing the life altering potential of releasing your creative products into the environment around you, can help break the cycle of self-imposed mental slavery. The kind with only assumed shackles and illusionary failure.

Work hard to achieve for yourself. Not to be better than others or to have more. Achieve more because you are an example of what hard work and belief in yourself can manifest. Always remember that it is better to bring those around you up with you as you rise. Do not believe the fool notion that those on top can help those below them. You can't climb down a mountain with all that you've accumulated on your back to pull up someone below you that climbs slower than you even though they are unburdened by your 'success'.

Forever more

Here I sit alone and wasted, my only friend the low and debased.

A sloppy rhyme, or a choice in pronunciation?

Enunciation, and anguish, a bitter pill that rolls down that hill in front of you faster than your imagination will allow you to tumble after it. The thought that you need more than you have haunts your existence. You plead with your environment and try and try to understand what it is you should be doing. There is no clear path in front of you and yet you are forced by your environment or peers to accept the decisions you make in an inane effort to get ahead. Ahead of what you can not see, but you feel inadequate you feel unease, your legs tremble and you know that once you stop moving the world will lurch and everything you've worked for will vomit out of you and leave you an empty husk confused and bewildered by the forest in front of you.

And so we go. We do not pass it though and we do not collect the skeletons we leave in everyone's closets. We undermine each others' dreams and we ignore perhaps to our peril the benefits that come from embracing a community as a whole.

Many will stifle and argue that they are just and pure. While they actively engage in a dance they may or may not be aware of. However they are individuals and as such they bare responsibility for their life and the awareness within it.

Guilt is a heavy thing. Apathy is like a perfect cone you put over your self with the point above you constantly protecting you, but also actively piercing the weight of responsibility and letting it fall around you. We do a great job of keeping our chins high and not letting the layers of, well it goes by many names, but let's use detriment. Layers and layers of wasted opportunities first spread below you and far away as the bottom of the cone is wide. Some people flounder with their chins so high for so long they become consumed by the force and the cone becomes like a sluice in a bathroom sink and their mind like the drain all the waste will flow into. It may not be guilt that drowns these victims, as fate plays fickle games and success can be very fragile.

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It has been a few months since I've posted and this I believe was the correct course of action. It seems to me blogs for most people are like journals that they use to recount some recent piece of life experience. Sometimes for monetary gain, sometimes to keep in touch with family or friends, sometimes to meet like minded people and sometimes to help others. My decision was to explore thought honestly. My life may be as interesting or less than others, it may or may not include fanciful facts that people may or may not want to hear. However as ego driven as this may seem, I want to build on a framework of observations of the both the Human mind and the conditions of society as we move through very tumultuous times.

Saturation in fair measure. I can't even conjure a clear argument with myself most days and tend to bat at my friends like a wet leaf in the wind held just far enough away not to stick, but noisy and frustrating.What benefit then would ramble be without a fair amount air between the gusts?

Can I actually accomplish what it is I force myself to strive for. I live a hypocritical existence not fully able to commit to a complete removal from the safety net I was cultured in.

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In the game related world, I am excited to see what will come with the release of the UDK. I have some big ideas I've been toying with for a while and I'm curious to explore moving to a stand-alone package.

Autotuneout the world.

I start these posts with questions a lot. Then I ask more and more and give very few answers, but I believe the text is wrought with opinion.

Today I'd like to talk about bubbles. The kind of bubbles we often place ourselves into either on purpose, or by a lack of control over our environments.

There is something quite beneficial about being able to be in the zone and be protected from outside distraction while you attempt to give birth to 'amazing'. I think a lot of people tend to put themselves in a little bubble that only they can see and hear. It is a reflection and echo of what direction that individual is trying to bring into their life.

People buffer what they consider useless information from entering their mind or recognition when they have an idea/ideal that they want to protect. You can often find yourself doing this when you are trying to interject in a meeting. The information coming in is being deflected by the desire to hold onto something ethereal that informs you of something special or perhaps important. Something that you can't quite own but if given the chance could share and re-seed in others who may also be deflecting the information that you try to provide.

We keep ourselves safe inside this bubble and rarely if we can maintain control over our emotions does that bubble fracture. Doubt, no doubt is very likely the easiest way for the bubble to crack. Self doubt can kill nearly anything, and it does a pretty good job of eroding your bubble. Many people skilled in debate and business meetings are aware of this and will generally try to seed doubt in a mind before proffering alternative options.

Being prepared to be ignored and being prepared to be overruled are two things that can help when dealing with people in general, but especially in design meetings and creative workplaces. The last thing you want to do is become frustrated. Keeping your bubble flexible and slightly absorbent is important. Allowing new information into your bubble and your future outlook is a key skill. You should always remain at the helm though, as you want to hold your ground without injuring yourself or others. Be assertive but not angry, use tact and not brute force. Above all perhaps is the ability to compromise. Just make sure you've added input to the equation or your compromise will be a sacrifice.

Bubbles are useful at times and are metaphorically obvious in language.

Moved

We rush around like water in a funnel collectively moving towards the same general area only to be thrust out into the void falling and changing. We may never contact anything solid on the other side instead perhaps being added to a relatively slow moving mass.

I've moved now to a new home. Adjustments were made and things became important that previously I was unaware were capable of surfacing. I am now looking for another place to live as this one is no longer available.

Time is always at our door compressing our surroundings and digitizing our experiences. When you have enough time it moves slowly and languidly. When you are pressed for time, it races and dodges. It requires great effort to grab it by its tail and rein it in, bend it to your will and fill its volume with more than it was prepared to accept.

Time, Cost and Quality. The triangle that is almost never equilateral. At certain times the triangle gets inverted, especially in times of economic dysfunction. When you must promise to get more done in less time than a competitor. We are not spending money to speed up the development, but instead saving money to speed up the development.

The only victim is poor old overlooked quality. Always seeming to get the short end of the stick.

Time is moving and we generally need something moving to get us moving. When you are pressed for time sometimes you just have to move regardless of the outcome. Take your best guess and keep moving.

Sort it out Johnny!

I often wonder why I am so scared all the time.

All the energy I expend needlessly in the work place fretting about just how long the 'company' will need me could be better directed to outside creative efforts.

How much of this stress impacts the creative process I employ on a day to day basis?

My cousin Jay likes to say "sort it out!" It is really funny the way he says it, and is nearly always meant in jest. It has me thinking however how it is I can sort myself out. Do I need sorting out or should I just learn to be more positive?

When we sort out the pros and cons of game mechanics how much of that self-talk effects our moment to moment tastes? Have we allowed enough internal sorting out to take place before we rush to impress with our latest bold decision?

When you question what is fun, and question the fundamentals of emotional conveyance, are the labels and diagnosis of our forbearer clouding our responses? It would appear from my perspective that assumption and past tense rule the day. Why is that?

Can it be that society has cowed creative confidence? Rather I believe, it is often the desire for ownership of ideas and the stamping of one's mark upon something, that filters down into projects from whatever supplementary source the development maintains. I maintain in earnest, that trust is all one should desire from their charges and that anything less is a mal-investment.

Honestly from my perspective, and a narrow one it is, I see success coming to those who create without license to some predestined ideal.

Asking an artist for something other than what they truly have passion for is mal-investment. Striving to meet expectations is mal-investment, while the act of pure creation in my opinion is the strongest investment.

Nay-sayers will say, 'that's been tried and we've seen it fail countlessly.' The obvious rebuttal is 'how many of those times did you use a hands-off approach and give the artisans the time they needed?'

Indi-devs are solidly proving time and again that audiences want genius. Too many cooks spoil the broth and too many opinions undermine the possibility for something truly special.

Individually everyone one of us has to sort out the incoming onslaught of opinion and try to plan for the future. Collectively we all need to sort out our level of speculation and expectation.

Opinions are only valid if they are opinions based on hands on experience and the direct love for the craft.

Now that that's sorted out...back to your regular programming.

Transparency

With all the buzz over the potential of a controllerless revolution I find myself wanting to remind people of the joy of interaction with specific rules and physical objects.

I believe that Natal and other motion manipulated devices will lead us towards even more and more subtle experiences. This is both an interesting prospect and a worrisome one.

In board games players physically interact with the board and its playing pieces. If we removed the movable pieces and responded to the play area with symantic casting gestures we would also remove the purpose of creating the physical parts to begin with.

Much like if we all start shadow boxing Miis and forget how to take one on the chin we may find ourselves unequipped with basic life skills.

With video capture devices that track positional movement we can easily imagine experiences being developed that are so subtle that they may effect every piece of media you interact with.

Why limit this to games? Certainly M$ and others are looking at controlling all media and not just electronic games published by the top 3. In schools and stores we will see this being used to greet customers, direct them to a table, remind them to stand straight when they walk, and we will see a whole new social level of control as these devices communicate your every movement to those in your friends list or any corporate/governmental group with the ability to view this data.

Clothing styles will be manipulated by games and these devices will unfortunately become so widely accepted that they will become trusted as harmless enhancements to a better fun-time.

I am certainly not fearful of these devices, but I do foresee a massive change in the way we as human society draw our boundaries around what is acceptable and not. The level of privacy we once held on to for dear life is very rapidly being replaced with a new level of transparency into everything we do at all hours of everyday.

There can be no electronic replacement for throwing and catching a ball. No replacement for the sensation of breaking through choppy water from a high dive. Life is not delivered to us just through our eyes and ears, yet this seems to be the direction we are trying to go. Will we remember what freshly smashed garlic smells like when we have simulated cooking games with scent emitters strapped to our faces?

An unequal balance

As I set about the task of finding a new home I wonder at the similarities between this task and planning to make a video game.

Location location location, a common mantra, but what are all the component choices we make when searching for a new home?

It is the same in the kitchen when setting about to make a large meal. You first have to decide what to serve, or where to live, or even what kind of game you want to make.

Then you try to visualize all the recipe items.

• Nearness to shopping, schools, bus routes
• Price
• Size and amenities
• target audience
• control schema
• technology
• time frame
• investment
• allergies

Regardless of what we have at the start or what we think we need for the future, we realize that planning can only take you so far before you are forced into doing.

Expectations come before experience, and it is this unequal balance which creates stress.

Best practices can mitigate the gap between expectation and reality.

In life outside of game development, nearly everyone has an opinion that they believe to have equal weight. This is the root cause of teenage angst, and it creeps into our work lives in meetings and the little choices we make.

A course of action then would be to both reduce the level of expectation and the level of planning.

However, without proper planning you will fall into many obvious pitfalls.

Perhaps planning for the worst as well as planning for the best would be a sensible course of action.

Desire

It would seem that the more desire that is injected into a project the less directed it becomes.

The further away you are from desire the closer you are to cohesion and understanding.

The more direction that is required the less likely it is that multiple party's desires will be met.

With individual interference into a project comes individual responsibility for the chain of events that will lead from the born desire.

It is critical that those desiring then become more involved with the project once they have injected their desires into it.

Direction is lost the more you introduce desire, therefor always remember to take responsibility for your desires.

Duality

Is there up without down?

When designing games for kids; how much of our adult selves do we take out, examine, and then decide not to put into the task?

When designing games for adults; how much time do we spend recounting childlike things in order to satisfy our adult desires?

Certainly there can be down without up.

Commonality

For most of us our decisions are guided by some moral or immoral compass. Your tools then are made from the rules you define yourself by. Our design philosophies are also made from these self constructed rules.

When you mix divergent people together on a design team and try to find a common ground you soon come to know there is no such thing as complete agreement. The closest we get is compromise.

Similarily thinking people will of course often come to the same conclussions. I am not interested in this dynamic, since by nature it isn't very dynamic.

Starting Points

Where do we drawn our inspirations from? When we wake up in the morning where do our motivations spring from? What drives us?

No matter what your answers are, a common thread is that these ideas are very deep and personal. They make you who you are. They tailor your speech, they are the rules and the filters of daily social interrelationships.

I imagine that these concepts and feelings shape our design decisions more than perhaps we recognise.

It's all in a name

I went ahead a long time ago and reserved this blog title with the intention of writing it a later date.

I know there are many well respected blogs that use Zen and Tao in their titles/content and by no means do I want to infringe on their amazing blogs which I am a huge fan of.

As well there is the highly respected The Tao of Game Design By Ernest Adams which I by no means want to disparage.

The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra has been one of my favourite books for the later half of my life. One could go so far as to call it my bible.

It was this inspiration that lead me to this title.

The idea of the Tao of Physics is to show the relationships and similarities between ever exciting discoveries in high-energy particle physics, and the concepts that certain eastern traditions have been telling us for eons.

So I wanted to start a discussion of where we are coming from, what lessons we can take from other philosophical sources and more experimental modern techniques of exploring our world.

Tao of Blogging

We all know that we know more than we knew before we knew what we now know.

Maybe that's why we blog.

I've been an active lurker and infrequent poster on many a game blog over the last few years but never felt until now that I was ready to add my hat to the already crowded ring.

Job experience was a big factor for me deciding when to open my fat head to the public domain.

To be sure I am still running noob. Though the more projects that flow through my fingers the more I realize that no one really 'knows' anything about what they are doing. Even for the experts it is an ongoing learning process.

To know that you 'know nothing' is a base for many philosophical traditions. Truly understanding this concept is oxymoronically near impossible for more than a fleeting instant.

From this starting point I will attempt to explore why we are so self involved in the process of game design and how we can reach some critical mass of understanding that the language balloons to encompass the various debates and arguments that structure our gaming world without the injection of what we all think we 'know'.